Throw it to me! Throw it to ... (splat)

   Probably the most ironic aspect of Illinois facing Northwestern in football this weekend at Wrigley Field is the perceived damage to the reputations of each schools' math departments: there's only room for one end zone.
   Why?
   Because Wrigley Field is a baseball park in the greatest tradition of such. No one ever tried to lay out a football field in it, so in actuality, no one knew that it couldn't be done.
   This is a MAJOR gaffe of historic proportion which will make for laughable viewing as 'student-athletes' will grapple with what the smartest guys in the room came up with at the last minute.
   Here's the NCAA contingency scheme:
   1) All offensive plays will head toward the West end zone, including all extra points and all overtime possessions.
   2) All kickoffs will be kicked toward the East end zone.
   3) After every change of possession, the ball will be repositioned for the offense to head toward the West end zone.
   4) As a result of a coin toss held by the conference office Friday morning, Illinois will occupy the West team bench in the first half and Northwestern will occupy the West team bench in the second half and for all overtime periods.
   Again, it's the Big Ten that dropped the ball by not performing some simple research: Hell you could {practically} do the math in your head given the dimensions of the usable space in the park as the known space and a known need for a 50 yard-wide, 100-yard long gridiron.
   Further proof that our arrogance supersedes our intelligence while our adversaries continue to gain on us.
   As a nation we've become so nonchalant to details and blinded by any plan that promises a fat profit that we miss the obvious.
   How many Chinese are learning English?
  This from the Asian Times Web site:
   "More than 300 million Chinese people, or nearly a quarter of the country's population, have studied English either as a major course or as an elective subject, said a senior Chinese education official on Sunday [Nov. 14] in Shanghai."
   Speaking at an international workshop of foreign language teaching in Shanghai, Vice Minister of Education Wu Qidi said that the number of people who have received formal learning of the English language from primary schools to higher learning institutes has added up to over 100 million.
   How many schools in the United States offer Chinese as a language? And yet we're still forced to learn French as if that has any value unless you're ordering snails or frog legs?
   Back to Chicago.
   Reports indicate the Illinois-Northwestern game has been in the works for more than 18 months, but the league claims they didn’t realize the problem until the field was "actually being laid out in front of their eyes."
   Big Ten Commissioner James E. Delany said “... playing the Illinois-Northwestern game at [Wrigley] will provide a once-in-a-lifetime experience for student-athletes, coaches and fans.” Not to mention the payoff for such a novelty.
   Unfortunately for Illinois and Northwestern (gasp!) the perception will be that someone cracking open a math book at either of the schools may be a "once-in-a-lifetime experience."
   But what can one expect from a conference which calls itself the Big Ten but has 11 schools?
   (Now they've added Nebraska to eternal dash for cash. Perhaps they'll be known as the Dumb Dozen.)