Strap it on, it's Stupor Bowl time!

It's all about the beer .... sure it is.

   Budweiser, manufacturer of the second worst line of beers in America, is about to assault the country with yet another marketing campaign. I say marketing campaign because I doubt there is any difference in the product other than it is probably cheaper to produce. And I say cheaper to produce meaning The King of Marketing likely watered down the product once again.
   Actually, tasters at The Daily Meal determined the new Black Crown beer tastes like … Budweiser.
   Reviews from BeerAdvocate were a bit harsher:
   “This tastes like Bud in a black bottle. This is regular bud in a black bottle. This is not beer.”
   “A good law mower beer.”{ouch}
   “Hopefully on sale in grocery store.”
   “This beer is good if you want to get hammered, but taste-wise it’s like chewing up a cracker and instead of swallowing …”
   “There is an unpleasant overcooked Brussels spout note that permeates the entire thing.”
   “Watery, thin no body. Just awful. They are clearly working to not offend/overwhelm the beer palates of the masses — the macro-swill guzzling type.”
   “Like Bud Light Platinum, I’ll have no desire to buy this again. Even crappy Bud Ice is better than this.”
   Speaking of Bud Light Platinum, another recent AB offering, we have more of the same:
   “The aftertaste is unpleasant.”
   “A truly awful beer that would appeal to NO ONE.”
   “This is a terrible beer, it’s not balanced at all. The only reason I grabbed it is because the gas station didn’t have any good beer …”
   “This is not a good beer. Like a slightly more bitter and funky Bud, which takes it from regular Bud’s watery inoffensiveness into something more sinister and unappetizing.”
   “This beer looks like apple juice, smells like nasty seltzer, and tastes like rusty carbonated water.”
   “To the best of my knowledge, the first time I was unable to finish a beer to date.” {ouch}
“Bad beer. I don’t know the price on this but it is probably way overpriced. Avoid, avoid, avoid.”
   One on the few fans said (revealingly) “I will never tire of its cool blue bottle.”
   And this brings us to the true genius of the St. Louis brewers — the marketing department. I wonder if the MBAers at Anheuser-Busch even drink this stuff.
   I have my doubts.
   My guess is, after filling their nostrils with a whiff of pricey brandy, they turn their noses up at ‘Joe Six-Pack’ and laugh all the way to the bank knowing that all they have to do is change the label every few years and sex-up the Super Bowl ads every February in order to sell vats of weasel wizz for decades to come because they have more money and market share than anyone else and they don’t have to worry about … taste.
   Their nearest competitor, after all, is Miller — manufacturer of the worst line of domestic beers. Remember when they bottled their dishwater, excuse me, beer in clear bottles thus allowing exposure to light which made it even worse? The Champagne of Bottled Beers, indeed (I guess now they could claim they produce the Champagne of Canned Beers).
   And taste?
   Hahahahahahahaha
   Unfortunately for America, Budweiser has nothing to worry about.