Godspeed, Aunt Maryon



Lake Wingra borders Vilas Park in Madison, Wisconsin

   Well, my favorite aunt died on Thursday.
   I think she was the favorite of my sisters as well, and it may be because she never married and thus was more available to us. She thought of all her nieces and nephews as 'her kids.'
    For as long as I can remember, Maryon was always mailing us humorous cards or trivia and greeting us with little presents whenever we visited Madison. Living in my grandparents home for the bulk of her life, we would always make at least one walk of a few minutes from the corner of Chandler and South Randall to Vilas Park for a stroll through the zoo, or a Saturday breakfast near the Lake Wingra shore.

   She lived her life with a quiet joy that she received from helping others. Whether volunteering her time at St. James or interacting with her neighbors, it always seemed Maryon embraced the inherent value of sharing her time and thoughts with others and fiercely defended those she loved. She was a champion of social justice before it was cool to help the downtrodden; it seemed she always thought of others before she thought of herself.

   Unfortunately, her special essence began to flicker and then fade as her disease began to take hold in the past few years. It was heartbreaking to see it happening and there wasn't much my tireless cousins Mike and Mark could do for her other than make her as comfortable as possible, defend her rights against those who wanted to take advantage of her, and give her the precious gift of time even when she frequently could not recognize them.
   Maryon's situation also brought to light for me the insidious nature of a health-care industry that preys on the fears of families and the financial drain and strain it puts upon them. I'm afraid as Boomers move into this phase of their lives that the institutional abuse and neglect of the elderly will become even more acute than it is now.

   I believe it is our society's obsession with youth, glamor and narcissism that makes us turn an uncomfortable eye away from the travails of the elderly.

   Yes, there will be more options for elderly care, but the fleecing of finances will become more devious and flagrant and quality care will be far out of reach for even the above average American.

   Right now I'm just sad for the loss of my aunt and yet relieved in a way that she doesn't have to suffer anymore. She recently told cousin Mike that she wanted to go, that she wanted to die.
   She was always a woman who did things her way, lived her life on her terms. So it seems in the end she left when she decided it was time to go.

   Godspeed, Aunt Maryon.