Advance to the rear

from: Ted Hughes: 'Bayonet Charge'

   All right, enough about my feverish rants regarding Purdue Pharma and its phalanx of automatons blanketing America.
   Today I want to spend a bit of time regarding another menace infecting US and it's not that weird flesh-eating phenomenon [which is freakin' creepy nonetheless].
   I am speaking of the latest hackneyed phrase, "Going forward." { For Christ's sake, what else would it be? "Going backward?"}
   Gee, I thought "In the future," or "Looking ahead," always worked pretty well, but no, much like "impacted" instead of "affected," or "impacts" instead of "effects," we are once again beset by a transitory catchphrase concocted to add gravitas to what is no doubt keenly wrapped cow dung. [If I hear "at the end of the day" one more time I am going to purchase my first firearm.]
   I have a theory.
   As far as I can tell, "Going forward," emerged at least two months ago {maybe more, after all I live in Pasco County [but I am a news junkie]} as every other Talking Head began spitting it out as a preface to a point (much like, "yadda, yadda, having said that, blah blah, bullScheiße.)
   The theory is either some clever person in Prez Obama's camp saw the trite phrase emerging and co-opted it to simply "Forward" — Mr. Obama's campaign slogan. The one word is snappy, direct and elicits power as in, "Charge!" [although given the rate of our national debt, "Charge!" wouldn't be such a wise choice].
   Alternatively, the multitude of minions Twittering for the current administration may have been passionately pecking texts to every follower in every city about Mr. Obama's plans "going forward" into the next four years and the phrase instantly became part of the everyday lexicon.
   In any event, I'm sure that when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll be "going forward" to take a leak in the bathroom.
   As for Mr. Obama's challenger, Mr. Mitt needs to at least instruct his staff as how to use spell-check or he in fact will be "Going backward."