Move over Henny Youngman

   Whenever I'm feeling a tad sorry for myself I think of Emilio Estevez. Then I feel much better.
(I mistyped both his first and last name just now; had to look it up — how pathetic).
   And if there ever was a cause célèbre for fratricide I don't think a jury would convict little Emilio of doing damage to the environment should Good-time Charlie be 'found ... somewhere .... not responding.'
   Charlie Sheen: the dude's dude; a marginal actor with a Teflon persona, only Charlie Sheen — facing the loss of his family — has the stones to tell the producer of his multi-season, Number 1 network comedy hit, that he probably won't be back to work next year. And, yeah, yeah, there was that Thanksgiving tiff with the bourbon and the alleged cutlery and his current wife — "It's just Charlie being Charlie."
   Meanwhile the domination of "Two and a Half Men" merely widens the smirk on Sheen's mug. The dude must crap gold bricks.
   I'm sure Emilio is thrilled with the success of his little brother.
   Poor Emilio (the Jeb Bush of the clan — he's got more sense, but missed any opportunities granted by 41 to 43) has to settle for uncredited roles where his character gets knocked of in the first reel (Mission Impossible). Is that some kind of Hollywood unwritten rule: if you die before the first reel ends then you don't get any credit for the work on the film — even if it includes a decent amount of dialogue; a spirited give-and-take during the mission's planning; not to mention how he died and where he died. Yeah, Emilio really got the shaft on this one, and you've really got to piss somebody off to be left out of the closing credits as well.
   What did he do? {or not do?}
   Not respond keenly enough to Tom Cruise's Scientology presentation? And the strapping Mr. Cruise is a full 3 inches taller than the 5'4" Emilio (Demi Moore is taller than EE), so I can't imagine that Napoleonic issues were behind the professional snub.
   Poor Emilio, the first words out of any girl's mouth when she meets him for the first time have to be: "Is Charlie here tonight?"
  And, oh, wait, it seems Mr. Estevez was married to Paula Abdul from '92-94.
  I'm so glad I am who I am.
   But I'm sure there are times when Emilio kicks back on the couch with a bowl of popcorn to watch D3: The Mighty Ducks yet again, softly whispering to himself, "Take that Stephen Baldwin. I mean, co-starring with Pauly Shore in Bio-Dome?"
   Puuuuuuuuulease!