Tiger shanks one ... or two, or three

   A major portion of el Tigre's Unforgiving Thanksgiving troubles are coming into focus.
   As he could not stop the publication of alleged sexy texts and phone messages from a California wannabe, and after his apology Web post this morning, it seems the greatest golfer can't control his stick {Man, there's going to be a lot of Tiger Woods jokes down the pike}.
   As well, a couple of "club managers" have been romantically linked to the linkster, the latest being a 'marketing' manager for a Las Vegas nightclub. [Say, baby, you wanna manage my club for me? My name's Tiger and I've got a big driver.]
   But let's imagine, for a minute, how it all allegedly developed with the 23-year-old California Girl who is promoting her relationship with Mr. [purported] Clean:
   Bimbette cocktail waitress offers her services in 2007 and Tiger responds with not a putter but with his penis. (Was he freaking drunk out of his mind? ... Was he captured by anti-golf terrorists, force-fed cocaine and barbiturates and then brainwashed into a dalliance with a ditz? ... Or is he just a freaking [as my wife likes to say] moron?)
   We can all only imagine how all this time Ms. Bimbette was just itching to tell everyone who her boyfriend of two-and-a-half years was, and frankly, if she's schtupping the richest athlete on the face of the planet EVER, then I can understand her bubbly excitement ["Take that Monica Lewinsky! My boyfriend has a smokin' hot, REAL blonde, Swedish bombshell for a wife. Who was your boyfriend's wife? Huh? What's that Monica, I can't hear you?"].
   Back to Tiger. Still a moron.
   Back to Bimbette. So, did this Other Woman decide to pull a little harder on Tiger's tail and tell him to ditch that Stay-at-Home Ice Princess so she could thus ascend to her rightful place as Queen of the Jungle? Or did she simply want to scream to the world, "Tiger Woods is MY BOYFRIEND, isn't he cute?"
   How many millions do you suppose Tiger Woods offered this young woman to keep her mouth shut?
   Although this will be my only blog post on the matter, I think the Scheissesturm is just beginning for Mr. Woods.
   Let's see, three women (so far) — one in LA, one in Vegas and one in the Big Apple — are alleged to have soothed the savage beast. How many cities and countries has Tiger traipsed? Hmmm. Maybe Elin was swinging a 3 iron.
   For all his control issues and desire for privacy, Tiger Woods plays a solitary game in front of a constant, streaming global audience, both in person and from afar. There are no teammates to protect you — naked [ironically], as it were, to the world. Now he can't find a sand-trap deep enough to escape the questions and criticism.
   It seems if one craves privacy so dearly, one should be more careful with their privates.
   Back to Tiger. Spectacular golfer, still a moron.